Well douche your snatch and let's go!
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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