Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
