Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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