I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize