Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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