Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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