writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
