wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
