apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
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Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
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So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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