Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize