Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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