I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
