If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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