i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
