i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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