yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize