hell yes lets make some ravioli
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
