isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
