I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
