My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Dicks are not precious.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
