Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You need a sexual gate keeper
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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