Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
