Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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