Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize