you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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