why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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