i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
