how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
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the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
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There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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