Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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