idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You pole danced in your parka.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
