he was CRYING into my vagina
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Randomize
