Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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