I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
