just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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