i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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