yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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