I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
