I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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