He is such a slut. More and more my type.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
