He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
