they need to just BURY HIM!
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
