Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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