well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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