She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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