It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
