The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
