Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
