3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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