question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
