Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
