I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
