youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
