my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm getting married
To pizza
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
