is your mom at the bar?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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