Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
