I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
This girl is more easily done than said...
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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