i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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