She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
