I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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