We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
