At least make sure they are 18
Why
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
