OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
