Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
